Death of dreams

Death of our dreams is the most devastating.



Deaths, the death and the fear


I’m an entrepreneur. A web developer with experience in making websites since 2000, and now running my own small company. Almost dying actually(the company, not me).

During my life as a developer and a designer I have worked very hard to learn the technologies that I’m good at and have spent endless hours practising them. Usually nights. Late nights. Up to 4-5AM being the norm.

I’m 30 now. Well, about to be 31 in July this year. I always thought that 30s would be the time( mid or late) when I’ll start focusing on my health and till then the body will be young and it’d be able to handle almost everything that I throw at it. Except drugs, and I don’t do those.

As I grew up I saw people die. Family and friends of family, some friends too. The young folks that died were not physically unwell but the cause of death was unnatural. Read accidents, sudden or prolonged illness(untreatable, mistreated), unnatural causes. It was not untill very recently, approx 3-4 months back, when I started hearing about deaths of younger folks in my very close circle. 2 of my 2nd cousins, 42M and 30F, perfectly healthy, an awesome life style, very peaceful at mind. Younger one got married a fortnight before her demise. Elder one had 3 boys, 3 to 13, and on the very day of his funeral another death in his circle. 3rd. He just didn’t woke up when he complained of a mild headache and went to sleep.

I started fearing death since then. I never thought that people so young can have such silent heart attacks. No pain. No illness. Pretty normal young fellas. Doing norm work. No stress. Enjoying life. Having a good time. And suddenly, out of nowhere, death comes along. This was scary. It still is.


I am having a different life style. There are literally thousands of people, in my city alone, who have much busy, stressfull lives than me and I know they are healthy. For now. There are effects, yes, like back pain, cervical problems, but not silent heart attacks. That has been unheard of, untill this week. And it shook me.

A guy from my circle, 26, suffered a heart attack, a silent one, and he died on the spot.

I am terrified.

He was married for less than 6 months and was running his own IT company from around 6 months. Was working the same schedule as mine. Was younger than me. 5 years.

I feel terrified.

















I have a small skin problem. It is called eczema.

Happens once a year, sometime twice.

Started in 2009, and now (in 2015) I know a lot about it.
Nothing to worry about. Skin irritation. Minor. Usually regular medication of 2-3 doses disappears it, and a week’s schedule makes sure it doesn’t come back for a long time(may be 6 months or so).

I follow these salts(actual names are20150404_112038 20150404_112132 20150404_112106 different) 1 each, thrice, after breakfast, lunch and dinner:
ciprofloxacin Hydrochloride 500mg [the big one]
betamethasone 5mg [the small one]
Levocetrizine Hydrochloride 5mg [the small one]
Reference link:


Day 0

This is the day I think I should change.

Not that I don’t like myself as I am.

I am awesome, and people around me know that.

The thing that I think I need to change is to be better – healthy, financially stable, more responsible, more reliable.